Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Dreams of Falling

Dear God,

When I dreamed about what you would do with my life... this wasn't it.  I'm not complaining.  Not really.  I know you have a purpose and a plan, and I am willing to walk the path you have for me.  I just thought it would be, well, different.  More successful and impressive?  More significant?  Shamefully, yes, to all the above. 

I thought it would look more like my dreams.  But it doesn't.  It looks like your dream.  And that's okay, because you are a better dreamer than me.  You dream for the whole world.  Teach me to dream like you.  Maybe if I can dream like you all of this will make sense.  Maybe all these random fragments of life will make a picture that I can recognize.  If I could dream like you, I believe I could see how this all simplifies into some grand equation or song or story that expresses your perfect selfless love.  And I could see my place in that picture, and how it makes other parts of the picture beautiful... if only by contrast.

That's the hard thing about faith in you  In the end, it really is always blind.  Over and over, you walk us up to the cliff and say, "Jump.  It's worth it." 

Only a crazy person would do that!

I guess that makes the church an asylum.

I won't lose this chance to know you, even if it means knowing you in your suffering.  If that is where you may be found, that is where we must go.  Let us be bold to leap, regardless of where we fall.  We will always land in your arms.